Hospital Emergency

"Aaya-san, Haa-san, it hurts…," Shigure mumbled from his position on the gurney.
"Well, now you know why people don't throw bricks at each other," Hatori responded, mustering up the last of his patience.
"I'm sorry, Gure-san!" Ayame apologized yet again. "I didn't mean to hit you!"
Hatori wondered how he got himself into these messes.
It had started out as a normal enough day, really. He'd done his job as the personal Sohma family doctor, read a couple novels due back to the library soon, and gotten prank-called by Shigure and Ayame at least thirty times.
And then Ayame had called saying Shigure needed to go to the ER.
Apparently, Ayame and Shigure had gotten bored of prank-calls, so they'd decided to switch to a different activity: DodgeBrick. The premise of the game was to hurl bricks at each other, while attempting to dodge them.
Well, needless to say, Shigure hadn't been so lucky during one of the tosses, and had effectively been nailed in the side of the head.
This was why they were now making their way down the hallways of the ER, with Shigure lying on a gurney and his head gushing blood.
To be honest, Hatori actually felt a little sorry for his friend. None of Shigure and Ayame's stupidity had actually led to injuries before.
Besides, for all Hatori knew, this head wound could lead to brain damage. And considering how Shigure normally was, he really didn't need brain damage.
As the nurses wheeled Shigure into a room, one turned to Hatori and Ayame. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait outside."
"Please can we come in?" Ayame begged.
"I'm a doctor," Hatori added. Quite honestly, he didn't want to leave Shigure alone in a room filled with female nurses. Even badly injured and nearly passed-out, Shigure was still Shigure.
The nurse sighed, then pointed at Hatori. "You can come in. Your friend can't, though."
Looking over at his friend's saddened face, Hatori said, "Just wait out here. I'll give you any updates."
Ayame was quiet, then slowly nodded his head. "Ok."
Hatori turned to the nurse, nodded his head in thanks, then followed her into Shigure's room.
"How are you feeling?" Hatori asked as he made his way to his friend's side.
"Like my brain is going to fall out," Shigure mumbled. "On a pain scale of one to ten, I'd give this an eight."
"Not ten?" Hatori asked as one eyebrow rose in surprise.
"Worst pain a human can endure is their femur bone cracked in half," Shigure mumbled. "They have exclusive rights to ten."
"What about nine?"
"Childbirth, Haa-san. Don't want to compete with that."
Hatori opened his mouth to comment that Shigure was male and therefore couldn't even go through childbirth, but a nurse interrupted him. "Ok, I'm going to give you some morphine. It'll help with the pain."
Shigure's eyes snapped open. In a flash, he was gripping Hatori's arm and shouting, "No! Anything but that! They gave that to the guy in Saving Private Ryan right before he died! My pain's a four! A two! A negative thirteen! Just please don't kill me!"
The nurse stared at Shigure, then slowly turned to Hatori, who was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Uh, sir…"
"Shigure," Hatori said firmly. "She is not going to kill you. Just take the dang morphine."
Shigure still looked unconvinced, but gave in and took the morphine anyways.
At that moment, the doctor came in.
"Alright," he said, adjusting the face mask. "Let's get to work."
~*~
"Haa-san, I'm an eight again!"
Hatori sighed and massaged his eyes. He was currently sitting by Shigure's bedside, listening to his slightly-loopy friend.
The medical staff had done a good job dealing with Shigure's injured head. They'd stopped the bleeding and patched it up. Thankfully, there would be no brain damage.
Shigure, meanwhile, had taken quite well to the morphine.
"How's Gure-san?" Ayame asked, coming in. Apparently, the medical staff had finally let him in.
"Fine," Hatori said.
"Aaya-san!" Shigure exclaimed. "You should say eight! It's a good number! Say eight, say eight!"
Ayame slowly looked over at Hatori. "You sure dear Gure-san did not suffer brain damage, Tori-san?"
"It's the morphine, Ayame. It's the morphine."
"It's so wonderful!~" Shigure sang out. "Oh, morphine, how I love thee!~"
"Oh, Gure-san! I managed to bring my cell phone in! Want to make some prank calls?"
"Yay!~"
Hatori sighed and buried his face in his hands. He really needed to find himself new friends.