Clive's Crazy Theory

"You know, you really should ditch the man purse," Clive calmly stated. He was currently over at the Triton's, waiting to help make some Christmas cookies. Layton would be coming over after he was done teaching, and Flora was out running errands. She'd volunteered to help, but everyone had quickly and eagerly declined. The last place you wanted Flora was in the kitchen.
"It is not a man purse!" Luke exclaimed, glaring at Clive and clutching his bag defensively. "It is a satchel!"
"Don't you remember that MLIA post I showed you? Satchels are man purses. So you just owned yourself again."
"Boys, please be quiet," Brenda interrupted, continuing to calmly mix the cookie dough batter. "If you're too loud, you'll wake up Clark."
Clive's eyes widened in fear. "Ok, we'll be quiet. We don't want anything bad to happen."
Luke looked over at Clive. "Clive, what bad things would happen if we woke my dad up? Besides him possibly being a bit mad, of course."
Taking a deep breath, Clive said, "If we wake your dad up, you'll be grounded. But this won't be any ordinary grounding. No, instead, you'll be forced to go to school while you're supposed to still be on Christmas break!"
"Clive…"
Clive motioned for Luke to be quiet. "Due to this, your teachers will have to go in while they're supposed to still be on vacation. Naturally, they'll be mad. So mad, that they work up some courage and murder you!"
Brenda stopped what she was doing and stared at Clive, one eyebrow raised. Luke opened his mouth to say something, but Clive motioned again for him to be quiet.
"However," Clive continued. "By the time they actually murder you, school will have started up again, which means they have to be there anyways. They'll get so frustrated and angry about this that they decide to murder every other kid in the school!"
Brenda and Luke slowly turned and looked at each other, each thinking the exact same thing. "How many hours of therapy has Clive been logging?"
"Naturally, the parents will get really mad about this and file a bunch of cases to the police," Clive continued, not noticing Luke and Brenda's concerned stares. "So now the police are mad because they have a gazillion cases sitting on their desks about a bunch of murdered kids, and they have to deal with them all. Finally, they all become corrupt and go on rampant murder sprees."
Luke glanced over at his mother again. She looked just as disturbed by Clive's theory as he was.
"So now the police are corrupt and have become criminals themselves, so the crime rate shoots up drastically," Clive continued. "The ordinary person is terrified to leave their home, because they're afraid they're going to get mugged or killed or something. Meanwhile, the crime is still on the increase, because there's no police to crack down on them. Eventually, things get so bad that the economy starts to suffer, so people start to go broke. Since everyone's running out of money, the crime rate escalates even further, until the streets are literally running with blood."
Deciding he'd had enough, Luke tried to interrupt, but the ex-convict was on a roll.
"Finally, other countries have had enough, so they start to send in troops. So now we have one big war raging across all of Britain, with loads of people dying every day."
Clive took a deep breath, then exhaled. "And all this happened because Luke and I woke up his dad."
Finally done, Clive leaned back in his chair. Brenda and Luke stared at him like he was an alien from Mars. Before either could say anything however, someone's tired, shuffled footsteps were heard coming down the steps.
"What's going on?" Clark mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I heard some commotion, so-"
Clark never did get to finish that sentence, because Clive leapt up from his chair and bolted off, screaming about how it was the end of the world. Clark watched him run off, then turned to Brenda and Luke, both of whom had buried their faces in their hands.
"Do I want to know what that was about?" He asked, very perplexed.
"No," Luke and Brenda responded. "No, you don't."
Sighing, Luke got up. "I'm going to go call the Professor. I think Clive needs a new therapist."